Trudgin' through the snow
With a mule tied to a sleigh
The darn mule wouldn't go
We drug him all the way
The bob-tailed fool sat down
Like he was out of breath
It took all night to get him home
And he nearly froze to death
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Oh, what misery
Don't hitch up, old dog
If you're coming after me
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
You can have your open sleigh
I'll keep my Chevrolet
Slidin' down a hill
On an old ramshackle sled
Laughin' fit to kill
At something someone said
Forgot to watch the road
Not watchin' where we went
We ran into a barbed wire fence
And got a Christmas spirit skinned
Jingle bells, jingle bells
I have paid the price
Busted bones and aches and groans
From fallin' on the ice
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Dashing through the hills
All we'll get for Christmas
Is a flock of Doctor Bills
Slippin' down the street
On an old banana peel
Could not stay on my feet
They were slicker than an eel
My feet flew in the air
And I let out a yell
I landed on my pocketbook
And I broke my jingle bell
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Ringin' in my head
Oh, what fun it is to slip and slide
On a sled
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Like the wise man said
Be careful where you slide
Or you'll spend Christmas Day in bed
I've got an old tom cat
And Santa is his name
I keep him nice and fat
But he hates me just the same
He got at me today
With those needles in his claws
And now I'm a-wearing bandages
On account of Santa's claws
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jangle all the way
We don't know all the words
But we'll sing it anyway
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Ringin' loud and gay
We'll be hearin' jingle bells
From now 'til Christmas Day
